


When there's a will(y), there's a way

by guava



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Actual mpreg this time!, Childbirth, Crack, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 02:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guava/pseuds/guava
Summary: Everyone was present for the nativity of Game Master's baby.Set before Episode 30.





	When there's a will(y), there's a way

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to lucybeetle and tokumusume for the allocation of everyone's roles in Taiga's childbirth.

Somehow Kuroto managed to put both a baby and a uterus inside Taiga. While there seemed to be a Gashat which gave Kuroto the ability to perform such a feat, none of the riders knew of a Gashat which they could use to safely abort Taiga's baby. 

No matter how hard Taiga threw himself at oncoming Bugsters and no matter how much he puked, the baby would still not go away. The illegal doctor thus had no choice but to give birth to his bastard kid; the kid of that zombie bastard. 

Once Taiga's water had broken, everyone rushed to the illegal hospital and assumed their roles in the labour. Gently laying Taiga down on the floor of the room where he worked, they arranged him into the optimal birthing position while putting up a stoic front to his cries and curses. 

Nurse Asuna and Dr. Kagami Hiiro stationed themselves between Taiga's spread legs; the former acting as Taiga's ad hoc midwife and the latter remaining on standby to separate mother and baby. 

As Asuna urged Taiga to "Keep pushing!", Hiiro muttered under his breath, "There's nothing I cannot cut. Including Hanaya Taiga's baby's umbilical cord." 

"Getting cold feet, unlicensed sham?" Taiga sneered at Hiiro in between screaming in pain. 

"If you want a licensed obstetrician, I can call my father to come down here," Hiiro coldly threatened. 

"NO!"

The last thing Taiga wanted was for his former boss to inspect his unnatural uterus. 

Playing her part as Taiga's birth partner, Nico held Taiga's hand and wiped the sweat off his forehead with a cool towel at the same time. 

"The more you curse, the more scared the baby will be to come out," Nico said. 

"FUCK OFF, BABY!" 

For a moment, Taiga thought that Nico would punch him for shouting in her ear. Thankfully she didn't, for only lowlifes would punch a pregnant mother. 

Nico continued, "The faster the baby comes out, the sooner this torture will end." 

This was most likely Kuroto's way of torturing Taiga from beyond the grave. Taiga almost wished that Kuroto was still alive so that Taiga could torture him right back. As he obeyed Asuna's order to put his hips into it, he imagined clenching his thighs around Kuroto's neck and snapping it for good.

But thinking these violent thoughts didn't lessen Taiga's violent urges one bit. His pregnancy hormones pushed him to take it out on Houjou Emu, who was sitting opposite of Nico and in charge of holding Taiga's other hand. 

Taiga tightened his grip, causing Emu to cry out in pain too. 

"Sorry, Taiga!" Emu apologized. 

He released Taiga's hand to transform into Maximum Mighty X, then continued his duty by allowing Taiga to squeeze his huge-ass hand as hard as Taiga wanted. 

Taiga squeezed around one of the pink fingers, and also squeezed his eyes closed to shut out the nightmare of his life. His life that was steadily eroding away as he gave birth to new life. 

"Just a little bit more!" Asuna cheered him on. "You can do it, Taiga!"

"No more," Taiga croaked, his voice nearly gone. "Goodbye, cruel world."

* * *

The familiar sight of his ceiling faded away to a complete blank. Everything and everyone around Taiga disappeared, leaving him alone on the ground. The pain in his belly was gone too. 

Caressing his stomach and finding no baby bump, Taiga confirmed that his body was back to normal. He got to his feet and stamped his boots to stretch his legs, wondering if he should celebrate as he seemed to have died in labour.

He wasn't left with his thoughts for long, for he saw Kujou Kiriya coming towards him with two cans of beers in his hands.

He threw one over to Taiga and said, "Giving birth must be tough on you. Cheers!" 

"Sure," Taiga replied, opening his can to make a toast with Kiriya. 

"Now that the baby's born, it's time to break out the booze again." 

"Not like I stopped," Taiga said, and downed half of his can in one gulp. "I ought to have drank more." 

"You're going to be a great mom, dude," Kiriya sighed. 

He gave Taiga a judging pat on the shoulder and walked away. 

There was no reason for Taiga to care about being judged, now that he was dead. Dead and free of Dan Kuroto's baby, which was still alive while he wasn't. 

An irrational current of woe and fury surged through Taiga, and now he couldn't blame it on the pregnancy hormones. He threw his now empty beer can down and began stomping on it, until someone struck his leg out and kicked the can aside. 

Taiga put his foot down and raised his eyes. 

_Dan Kuroto!_

* * *

"You look so radiant, mother of my child!" 

As Kuroto pulled Taiga into a hug, the damp strands of his smarmy slicked back hair brushed against Taiga's cheek. Only Kuroto could continue to get his supply of hair gel in hell. 

For a moment, Taiga considered asking how in the world did Kuroto manage to knock him up. He decided not to, and instead deprive Kuroto of the opportunity to crow about his 'genius'. It didn't matter anyway, now that Taiga was as dead as Kuroto was. 

"You, dead? The God I am won't allow that," Kuroto said, pulling back to look at Taiga in the eye. "This is only purgatory, and Kujou Kiriya and I just came down to see you. Soon you'll be back where you were, where our hungry child is waiting to breastfeed on your lovely bosom." 

Taiga would have to do _what_ now?! He supposed it wouldn't hurt to live(?) in denial for a few minutes longer. 

He challenged Kuroto, "Give me three good reasons why I should take care of your baby." 

"One, our child will be twice the genius that I am and can soon create all the Gashats that you want. Two, once our child inherits Genm Corp, you'll be entitled to a significant amount of shares for raising my successor. Three, our child, who is half yours, will be as adorable as you are." 

Hearing these lame reasons made Taiga want to try to kill Kuroto all over again; which he should have done before Kuroto started rubbing and massaging his back. With his belly flat again, Taiga had nearly forgotten about his constant backaches until Kuroto had applied his hands.

"Mmm," Kuroto hummed, taking advantage of their 4cm height difference to kiss Taiga on the cheek. "I wish I could be there to watch you give birth to our child." 

"Wanna make another one?" 

Taiga offered without really thinking, and instantly knew why. The pregnancy hormones had got him again, but this time flaring up his arousal instead of his temper. He reached out to stroke Kuroto's broad chest. 

"Come on, do your worst," Taiga pressed his hips against Kuroto's, "Give me one another one of your babies." 

As Kuroto bent down to kiss him, Taiga waited for the perfect moment to strike. If Kuroto thought that Taiga would be his accomplice in adding nepotism to the long list of corruption in Genm Corp, he thought wrong. Resisting the thrill of having Kuroto's lips on him and the urge to kiss back, Taiga kneed Kuroto in the balls.

While Taiga landed his blow on Kuroto's overactive nuts, it was him who felt the immense pain; sending him back to the land of the living. 

* * *

The first thing Taiga heard upon coming back down was Hiiro announcing, "Proceed to cutting baby's umbilical cord."

He kept his eyes shut, deciding to remain 'passed out' for a while longer. Soon, he heard a tell-tale crying sound and Nico calling his name. 

No more delaying the inevitable. Taiga opened his eyes and turned to look at Nico cradling his newborn. The small thing was caked with blood and a slimy, mucus-like substance, yet Taiga wasn't disgusted by it at all. He supposed it was natural for him to get attached after carrying the baby inside him during all that time. 

He couldn't remember the last time he held a baby; his body acted out of instinct rather than practice when Nico handed him his child. He stared at the baby--Kuroto's baby; a miracle of life and a future source of Gashats and Genm Corporation shares. 

The baby stared back at Taiga and smacked him on the chin while squealing a familiar-sounding word. A word he liked to say a lot that wasn't an expletive. 

"Did everyone hear that?!" Taiga exclaimed. "The baby just said 'BANG'!" 

Everyone stared at Taiga as if he was deluded. Except Nico, who hugged him and the baby and said, "Now you can be sure that the baby is half yours!" 

Only she understood him. Taiga nodded, inwardly blaming his hormones again as he sensed tears welling up in his eyes. 

He'd worry about the trials of raising a baby later. For now, he shall celebrate the precious moment of having heard his baby's first word. 


End file.
